Denial  & Abortion

What is denial?

Denial is refusing to admit you did something.  When we have done something wrong,  there are only two ways of dealing with it ¾ denial or admission.  Because denial seems much easier than facing the wrong and its consequences,  most people who have participated in an abortion go through a period of denial, and then reach a point when their conscience no longer allows them to totally deny their actions.  When you acknowledge involvement in an abortion decision you may (1) Be in complete denial.  You believe the abortion was best for all concerned.  (2)  Be in partial denial.  You may think abortion is permissible for some reasons.  (3) Fully admit abortion is wrong.

Which is your reason for denying that involvement in an abortion was wrong?

[   ]   It’s my body to do with as I please.

[   ]   I still don’t believe it was a baby I aborted.

[   ]  I didn’t have any other choice at the time.

[   ]  I am afraid of the deep pain, hurt, and guilt that may come with admitting I was wrong.

[   ]  I don’t want to face the consequences of my actions.
 

There are several kinds of denial.  Check the one you most easily identify with:

[   ]  Defying (denial) - “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

[   ]   Blocking (repression) - “I don’t have any bad feelings.”

[   ]  Squelching (suppression) - “I won’t think about it.”

[   ]   Defending or excusing (rationalization) - “I had no other choice” or “It was the right thing to do at that time in my life.”

[   ]   Blameshifting (projection) - “It was someone else’s fault.”

Do you have any of these signs of denial?

[   ]   Inappropriate physical reactions which draw attention away from the topic of abortion, such as distracting movements of your body (shaking of legs, twitching in face, fidgety hands, etc.).

[   ]   Improper emotional reactions such as crying or laughing at the wrong times.

[   ]   Anger directed toward others involved with the abortion or toward those trying to help you.

[   ]    Evasion when discussing abortion, particu­larly as it relates to yourself.

Did you know? ¹ 

It is a well-established medical fact and also a biblical truth that at any point during pregnancy  abortion kills a developing unborn baby (Job 10:8-12; Psalm 139:13-16).

Abortion is sin (wrong) in God’s eyes (Exodus 20:13; Proverbs 6:16-19; Romans 13:9-10).

Those who willingly participate in abortion have sinned (Exodus 20:13; Romans 13:9).

Nothing surprises God.  He knows all about you and loves you anyway! (Romans 5:8; Hebrews 4:12-13)

Pride hinders you from admitting you sinned and keeps you “tied up in knots” (Proverbs 28:13).

God wants to help and will not give you more than you can bear (Matthew 11:28-30; 1 Corin­thians 10:13).

Others are accountable to God for their actions, just as you are accountable to God for yours (Ezekiel 18:20-21).

You are not to blame God for what happened.  God usually permits events to follow their natural course according to choices you make (Proverbs 19:3).

Denial is rebellion, since it is refusing to admit something God says is true (1 John 1:8).

The Lord dealt very harshly with people who remained in denial (Matthew 23:25-33).

Nothing you do will ever please God as long as you refuse to confess the abortion as sin (Psalm 51:17).

Is abortion ever the right choice?

There is no justifiable reason for an abortion, since it kills an unborn human being.²  Here are some thoughts on the “hard” cases with respect to abortion.

Too young - Once a girl begins her menstrual cycle, she is no longer “too young” to bear a child.  The consequences of becoming a mother at a young age never justify killing the unborn baby.

Rape or incest³ - Abortion is worse than the act of rape or incest because an innocent child is killed.  God tells us that children shall not be put to death for the sins of their fathers (Leviticus 20:2; Deu­teronomy 12:31).  Also, God condemns sexual inti­macy outside of marriage (1 Corinthians 6:9-10; Hebrews 13:4), but never the resulting pregnancy.⁴

Deformities or handicaps - The Bible tells us that people are allowed to be born as they are in order to bring glory to God.  It is not our place to determine who should live and who should die (Exodus 4:11; Isaiah 45:9-11; John 9:1-3).⁵

Life or death situations - Because of advanced medical technology, the necessity of performing an abortion to save the life of the mother is very, very rare.  Situations where abortion is considered to save the mother’s life are unique and very difficult.  Some considerations are: (1) There is no guarantee the woman will survive if the baby is aborted.  (2) Killing the unborn baby in an attempt to save one’s own life is selfish.  (3) Both mother and baby may survive if the pregnancy is permitted to continue.

Some ideas tend to deepen or reinforce denial.  Perhaps you have been influenced by one or more of the following:

Attempting to recover memories:  Each of us has memories of pleasant and not so pleas­ant events in our lives.  God has given us the ability to re­member for His purposes.  Sometimes well-meaning people suggest attempting to “recover” memories in order to deal with them.  However, digging deep into your “memory bank” to dredge up memories creates confusion, and God is not the God of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33, 40).  Planting false ideas into people’s minds is decep­tion.  It began in the Garden of Eden when the serpent suggested to Eve that possibly God had not given her all the facts (Genesis 3:1, 4-5).  Instead, you should trust God to show you areas in your life which need repentance and/or heal­ing.⁶  The Bible teaches not to keep a record of the wrongs done to you (1 Corinthians 13:5).  Instead, you are to confess (admit) your own sins, repent (turn away from those sins), and move forward in your life.  You are also to forgive those who have hurt you or sinned against you in the past (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Believing you are a victim because of the abor­tion:  Victims are not responsible for their actions, and their thoughts are often revengeful.  Your thoughts must be brought into line with the teach­ing of the Bible (Romans 12:1-3, 19-21).  Until you decide to take responsibility for your own actions, change will not occur and you will remain in denial.

Taking legal action:  To bring suit for mental or emotional damages prolongs denial and can hinder resolving your post-abortion trauma (e.g., forgiving others, accepting the consequences, etc.).  If you are a woman who has been damaged physically due to improper medical procedures or negligence, legal action might be appropriate.  While appropriate legal action may be possible and necessary, revenge is never to be the motive for such action.

Looking for the good inside yourself:  Each of us wants to believe we are essentially good.  The Bible tells you there is nothing good in your human flesh, and you will do evil (Romans 7:18-19).

Finding someone else to “share” the blame:  Others do have a responsibility for the abortion, but you also must learn to accept responsibility for your own actions  (Ezekiel 18:20-21).  With abortion it is not 50/50, but 100% responsibility for each person involved.

Indications denial has been discarded:

You will have fully discarded denial regarding your abortion when you admit all of these ¾

· “I had an abortion,” or “I helped a woman
to obtain an abortion.”

· “The abortion killed an unborn baby.”

· “It was wrong to abort an unborn baby.”

· “I cannot resolve this on my own.”

· “I need God’s help.”

· “I am willing to accept whatever consequences may result from the abortion.”

Do you now understand why your involvement with abortion was wrong?

Since you are responsible and accountable to God for your actions, admit to Him that you were wrong.  Now repent in the name of Jesus Christ for your sin of abortion and any other sins related to it (such as premarital sexual intercourse, anger against those who helped you to abort, etc.). 

Here is what you must believe in order for God to forgive you:  God the Father sent Jesus Christ to be born of a virgin, suffer, die, and be buried for the wrongs you have done.  The third day God raised Jesus from the dead.  Because of this you can personally know God the Father through Jesus Christ and live a life pleasing to Him.  If you believe this, then talk to God in a prayer like this:

Dear God,  I am sorry for the sins I have committed, including my abortion.  I now repent of those sins.  Please forgive me.  Knowing I can do nothing to earn Your forgiveness, I trust, by faith alone, Jesus as my Savior.  Help me to obey You from this day forward.  Thank you.  Amen.

If you asked in faith believing, God forgave you and gave you new life in Jesus the moment you asked.

 
If you are a Christian, or have just become one after reading this brochure, you have a wonderful helper to comfort and guide you.  He is the Holy Spirit of God, who came to live inside of you the moment you believed in Jesus Christ as your Savior.  Draw upon His power and strength in the days ahead as you begin to resolve various issues related to your abortion.  You can and will heal.  God will help you.

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For information on other post-abortion resources such as Bible studies and books, please see links in category  “Links to Other Post-Abortion Resources.” 

Parts of this article are adapted from The Post Abortion Reference Manual, copyright 1991-2017, copyright Pamela J.  Koerbel.

Scripture quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, The Lockman Foundation, LaHabra, California.  Used by permission.

Artwork Copyright 1991-2017 and Text Copyright 1998-2017
P J Koerbel.  All rights reserved  ·  Reproduction prohibited
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